This is from our family picture session last fall 2014. The ground around us is getting set to retire before winter. Our body positions in this photo can be reflective of the details of each relationship and the roles and division of labor, our energy.
When I picture the four of us, I see our family as the base. We are the earth that all else stands on. That's why it's ok to move, to have big changes, because the four of us are still there. Houses change, cities, states, even countries. But not us.
Until last Christmas. We had a great Christmas in our home in Bloomington, Indiana. A peek in our home gave the impression that all was as it should be. Except for Steve's stuff being packed. For boxes of kitchen and bath things I split from our cupboards, putting things he might need in a few containers. Pieces of home he took to Florida to his apartment in Avalon Park. Some things he would not take, insisting that we might need them here. As in the picture, he is, most often, our base. And he drove away the day after Christmas.
The kids and I stayed behind in Bloomington, because Dallin will graduate from high school the end of May. That's important. Jack got one year to be at middle school, to make friends and leave them. Good thing she makes them without any effort. We played with our Christmas gifts for 2 days, then flew to Florida to spend the rest of school vacation with him and be together. We went to Universal Studios for the best New Year's Eve we've ever had, and started our transition year off at the beach on New Year's Day. Acclimation begins.
For Valentine's Day, Steve came back to us. In March, for our spring break, the kids and I flew to him again. This time we stayed at a friend's condo near Daytona Beach (bliss) and looked at houses we might want to move to in summer. One more weekend trip for us to Orlando, to see more houses and make an offer happened in April. We close on our new house in 2 weeks!
These trips mentally created two homes for our kids. While we expect there to be a year of achey transition bruising, I think this takes the big sting out of leaving our home, friends, familiarity, and routines.
Living apart was easy and hard. There was regular life to attend to, schools, swim meets, friends and parties. I had a lot to do with the realtor, the house going up for sale, getting it ready for showings. A strong addiction to Grey's Anatomy on Netflix filled in the gaps like water poured into a rock-filled vase. But it was lonely. Definitely more so for Steve, who was alone in an apartment, working 12 hour days and being alone every evening to eat, play, sleep. Thankfully, his work at UCF is fantastic. His research, of course, is the same but the people he works with are generally happy, non-competitive and not ready to gouge out your eyes at department meetings. So that's a plus.
He finished teaching with good reviews, and packed up and drove back to us. We've had some drama with selling contracts on the house, but mostly it's been pretty darn great. We feel very lucky to be heading to paradise and not bringing shovels and snow pants with us. Indiana University not giving him tenure is turning out to be the best thing that could have happened. Dallin wants to study Marine Ecology. Boom! Jackie loves the sun and the beach. Boom! I will have my own room in our house to write and paint my stuff. Hooray! The next time we go to Florida, it will be together.
